How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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it was all Tagart

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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