TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

how do you win a game try your best

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...