A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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