How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

gingers

why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

Whats funnier than 24, 69

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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