DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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What do you do when you do what the do is the do for the do to do what you're doing that's done for what she did if you didn't do what not to do? ^error

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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