What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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