Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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