Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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poo

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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