A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

What happened to the black jew? He went to college and died in a plane crash.

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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