Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Black people.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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