A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i hate non minorities!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

m

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops