How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

 

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops