What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Screw it you write the joke.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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