A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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poop

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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