What's red and can sing? Elmo

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +18

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why is my phone broken i dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

thumb_up thumb_down +18

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops