a blond girl walks into a bar

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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what is more fun than shower time with adele. a mass gang bang with antonia

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops