what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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