Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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Poop

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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