What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops