What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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An man walks to a bra

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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