What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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