A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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