how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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