Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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