How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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Racial Equality

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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