Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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