Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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