A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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kk

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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