What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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