What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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