How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

knock knock go away!!!

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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