Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -30

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

will you like this joke my sources say no

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

thumb_up thumb_down -32

a blind man walks into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops