Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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