Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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denisssssssssssssss

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops