Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops