How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops