A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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women's rights

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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