what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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