Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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call me maybe.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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