why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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I C U P White stuff

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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