What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

Knock knock! Just kidding.

roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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