Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what kind of dog can tiptoe

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops