Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops