What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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