How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Your adopted

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops