Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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your mom.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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