What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops