why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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Robert Mugabe.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Click here to end the world.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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