Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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your mum

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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