Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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feminism

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Barack Obama.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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