Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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