A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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cool

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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